It is customary to replace the roll of toilet paper if you use the last sheet of the one currently inhabiting the roll. That seems like common sense right? Apparently common sense escapes teenagers.
I once read the teenage brain differs from an adult brain in the prefrontal cortex which is associated with reasoning. I thought someone made that up. Now that I have three teens in various stages of emotional, chemical, or physical imbalance I realize it’s true.
How else would you explain what passes as logic among teenagers? Pop quiz: A teenager is in a laundry room and there are four full baskets of clothes would they:
- Ignore them because everyone knows laundry baskets magically transport to their rightful destination
- Take only the clothes you need for that moment and leave the rest
- Take the baskets to your bedroom and neatly place the clothes in drawers
- One and Two
The answer is four. If you answered C you need to seek immediate medical attention to get your head surgically removed from your backend. I have seen weeks pass as teenagers walk down three stories to pick a garment out of the basket only to walk back up those same stories to change. At one point I figure they will realize it’s easier to just carry the whole basket up the stairs so they’d have their clothes readily accessible. Apparently I’m an idiot and prone to embarrass my children in front of their friends with my quaint ideals.
Pop Quiz #2: You finish brushing your teeth and are preparing to leave the bathroom. Do you:
- Leave the sink basin oozing with enough spittle to drown a Rhinoceros and mounds of toothpaste that can rival the Rocky Mountains in height?
- Clean the basin and throw the towel in the hamper
- Offer a sibling $1 to clean it for you
- None of the above – what do you mean we have to brush our teeth
The answer is one. Most teenagers have an allergic reaction to cleaning up after themselves and leave their money in their pants pocket currently enjoying the Rinse cycle so they have no money. That eliminates two and three. In the vast wilderness known as the pre-teen years, getting children to bathe or partake in any hygienic activity tool an act of Congress. Since Congress doesn’t act, most children skipped a few hygiene sessions. However, the second they become teenagers the hygiene gene must kick in because they bathe three or four times a day, swim in perfume or cologne and suck more breath mints than a vampire getting his fill in a blood bank. That eliminates answer four.
Pop Quiz #3: Two teenagers are standing in a line waiting for the store doors to open when one has a sudden question to ask the other. To communicate they:
- Talk to one another
- They text each other
- They Skype
- They call their cell phone
This is a tough one but the answer is two. Partial credit will be given for three and four. If you answered one I need to stop laughing before I can counter with a witty remark.
Teenagers are a different breed and physiologically predisposed to very little logic. At least they have an excuse – unlike our political leaders. The one saving grace is one day they’ll have teenagers.